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Time flies when you’re having fun! It’s already time for the July Tinder Files. This month we’re focusing on the cringey pickup lines. The ones that make you go, did that thought really fully formulate in someone’s brain without a single filter catching it? You’ll totally see what I mean in a few minutes. Real quick before we start though, let me give you the rundown of what this is all about.
Beyond laughing at cringey pickup lines, The Tinder Files actually serves a higher purpose.
You can read the long version of it in this post, or keep going here for the Sparknotes. Basically, in doing some academic research on dating apps like Tinder, I’ve come to find that we don’t really have established social rules for online dating like we do for real, person-to-person dating. We know not to walk up to a girl in a bar and tell her we’ve been staring at her intensely for an hour, just admiring her heavenly blessed beauty. But a real life human has actually sent me a twenty-line message on an app saying exactly that.
My professional opinion is that online dating just hasn’t been around long enough yet for those social norms to be established. We’re really confident with a screen separating us from others, so we’re pretty brazen about testing our limits. The Tinder Files, while often funny ,serve as a reminder of what’s okay and not okay to say on a dating app.
I do have some rules I follow to make sure this doesn’t descend into me just being a jerk and putting people on blast. If I’m a douche, the whole thing kind of implodes, doesn’t it? So, I’ll never post about anyone based on anything they can’t control such as their appearance, race, ethnicity, or gender identity. I’ll also refrain from posting about people who seemed to have good intentions. Finally, I’ll try to keep people’s information private to the best of my ability.
So, with all that out of the way, enjoy the cringey pickup lines in all their horrible glory.
Related: Weird Pickup Lines for June, 2018
July 2018: Cringey Pickup Lines
All this makes me picture is Dumbledore giving head which does not get me hot.
2. Rapid Fire
Oh, wow. I get my choice of three cringey pickup lines here. If I don’t like one, I can just look at another and repeat as needed.
3. Mind Flower
I just…I don’t know where that is….
GET IT???/?? CAUSE THAT’S A TREE WORD
5. Brownies vs. Cheesecake
Bruh, the only thing that would make me less intelligent regarding this choice is actually picking one over the other. Including apple pie.
6. Worst Night of Your Life
What a way to start things off. He’s either really nailed down the self-depreciating humor or he’s extremely confident, to the point where he thought this would clearly be a joke. I’m cringing because it is not clear.
I don’t want to know the state of your dick in your greeting to me.
8. Save the D for Later
At least he’s saving it for later.
9. Dirty Girl
I don’t know what’s cringier: the fact that he thinks snapping is inherently dirty or the fact that he called me a dirty girl like it would convince me.
10. Most Blunt Message
I mean, its kinda blunt I guess?? Cringing because he clearly has no idea what goes on on these sites. Blunt on dating apps is being told someone would like to fuck you against the wall. Or that they’re a porn star looking for a new start. Being told you want to spoil me at sporting events is not a winner, my dude.
Leave some of the cringey pickup lines YOU’VE gotten in the comments!