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Where does the time go?! It’s already time for the last Tinder File of the year. The LAST online dating app pickup line collection of 2017!! I can’t believe it. This has without a doubt been the fastest year of my life. Anyone else??

In case you’re coming in at the end here, The Tinder Files are my attempt to hold people accountable for what they say on dating sites like Tinder. Sometimes they’re really funny and sweet, and sometimes they’re completely cringeworthy and uncomfortable. Check out the long explanation here, or the short version below.

I post them because the whole online dating app thing is still so new compared to traditional dating. There aren’t really social norms for it like there are for when you meet someone in person. So, it’s kind of a free-for-all at the moment, with people saying and doing whatever they want. Unfortunately, it’s not cool. People tend to forget that even when they can’t see someone’s reaction to what they say, the reaction still happens. This should be common sense, but it’s not yet. So, just like with any social change, we need to be persistent like a river pushing against rock, hoping to get through someday.

That was cheesy. Here’s the deal. I post the terrible pickup lines in hopes of it becoming less socially acceptable to treat people like sex objects just because there’s a screen between them. You’d get a scalding hot drink in your face if you walked up to me at a coffee shop and told me you wanted to suck my boobs, but on a dating site, it happens every day.

I also post the ones that don’t make sense, because I believe that even while you’re doing this whole online dating app thing, looking for casual sex, whatever, the person on the other end of the phone still deserves a proofread message.

Finally, I do post a lot of the sweet and funny ones. The ones that give us hope for the future of relationships. Because even though there are a lot of shitty guys out there, we do need to give the nice ones credit. And sometimes we need comedic relief because this shit’s exhausting.

I’ve set some ground rules to make sure this doesn’t come across mean. For example, I’d never make fun of anyone based on their race, ethnicity, or general appearance. Ever, but it’s even more important here. I’d also never post negatively about someone who seemed to have good intentions. I’m recreating a healthy dating culture, not making fun of people for my own entertainment. Finally, I also try to block out obvious identifying features like close-up photos of a single person, or name and location combos.

So, enough of my talking! Let’s get to it. The final Tinder File of 2017. The last set of online dating app pickup lines of the year. Aaaand, go!


1. Regular Line

This is actually a friend of mine from high school that I happened to run into on OKCupid. Small world! I didn’t know he was funny.

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

2. Impeccable

I’m drowning in cheese. But it’s okay, I love cheese. In any form– edible, or of the dad-joke variety.

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

3. Hey Bitch

Hey douche, try again.

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

4. The Bet

I wonder how often this works for him? Online dating apps definitely open up the possibility of using this on a lot more people at once.

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

5. Naughty or Nice List

We’re still in the holiday spirit, right?

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

 

6. Help

Sent the second message just in case I didn’t pick up on it in the first message.

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

7. Honey Bee

I’m sure this is a classic, but it’s the first time I’d heard it! Wholesome and sweet, that’s the way I like ’em.

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

8. Cheerios

I must’ve been in a good mood when I made this month’s list, because I picked a lot of nice ones!

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

9. Made a Graph

Poor guy. Feeling bad that I wasn’t attracted to him because he’s obviously funny. Hate when that happens 🙁

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

10. Slang

We’re goin’ out with a bang this year, friends!

An online dating app gives people a lot more confidence than traditional dating. People say things they'd NEVER say in person. Sometimes that's good, but sometimes it makes people say crude, gross things. I post those pickup lines and the careless ones. But I also post the funny ones because let's face it, if we didn't laugh, we'd cry.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard on an online dating app? Drop it in the comments so we can all have a good laugh. Have a very happy and healthy new year friends!

Author

I'm Nicole, and I've always known that I was meant to be a blogger. I have two fails under my belt and am working hard to make the third time a charm with my newest endeavor, Uninspired. I'm a grad student in marriage and family therapy, but I also love creative writing, cooking and baking, reading, and DIY, which all get to shine in this little lifestyle blog of mine.

2 Comments

  1. Maya Maceka Reply

    LOL! Some of these are just plain ridiculous. But, honestly you’ve got to give some of these guys bonus points for trying! At least you know #6 read through some of your profile!

    • Haha I do definitely give some of them a lot of credit!! I make sure to put some cue-funny ones in too so it’s not just a man-hating kinda thing. They can be really clever! 🙂 Always nice to see your comments, Maya!

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